In Ancient Times Did Homer Write

In ancient times did Homer write
About the Trojans' horrid plight,
Of Greeks invading in the night,
And of Odysseus' homeward flight.

“But who was Homer?” scholars ask,
“Is no one equal to the task
Of taking off this ancient's mask
So that in knowledge we might bask

“Of where he lived, and what he ate,
And of his height, complexion, weight,
Of who his friends were, and his mate?
What hobbies he did cultivate?

“Was Homer many, or just one?
Or was he she? Or have a son?
Sophisticated or homespun?
Oh my, this is such jolly fun!”

As for me, I could but laugh
If some pedantic monograph
Expound on Homer's “better half” —
Leave such things off his epitaph!

E'en so, it would not me agrieve
If pedants Homer's mystery thieve,
For I've a trump card up my sleeve —
I'll simply choose to disbelieve.