So Square

Oh I am so square so square so square!
Straight part on the left side of my hair!
Shirts with collars, socks as well as shoes,
We know ourselves by the “look” we choose.

Oh I am so proper and correct!
We squares have world order to protect!
Tradition must be kept at all expense,
Else anarchy ensues, and vile events.

So square so square so square so square am I!
From unconvention always must needs fly!
Dinner on the table prompt’ at seven
Every night, and bedtime’s at eleven.

So square oh my, so square oh me O my!
If we do not have squareness we will die!
Rigid code of conduct is a must,
Our motto always is “In square we trust.”

Weirdos, hepcats, beatniks, hippies, freaks!
Spare me from all contact with those geeks!
Loose clothing to be seen all over town,
MY collars are the kind that button down.

Never let a wild lifestyle woo,
Conform to proper standards -- this means you!
What saveth us from damning, mortal sin?
The girdle, zipper, and the safety pin!

Oh I am so square so square so square!
That straight part on the left side of my hair!
Shirts with collars, socks as well as shoes,
Thus rigidly conformed, I cannot lose!