The Legion of Failed Superheroes
A play in one act
(The curtain rises.)Born with eleven fingers and nine toes, Peter Poorman had been the object of scorn and ridicule all his life. But thanks to his indomitable spirit and will to survive, he drew strength from these trials that might have crushed a lesser man. Peter vowed to devote his life to championing and protecting the weak, the downtrodden, the malformed, the eccentric people of this world. To this end he donned a yellow skin-tight costume boldly emblazoned on the chest with the bright red numeral "1", and called himself
(drum roll)
(applause)
Unfortunately, at the beginning of his very first adventure he slipped on a banana peel, fell into the street, and got run over by a truck. In other words, he was