The Horror of the Himalayas

The tall, brave, handsome, intrepid, bearded mountainclimber lifted his head and stared up at the magnificent, snow-covered, formidable, ancient, challenging peak. “What a monumental, all-consuming, unique project for a tall, brave, handsome, bearded mountainclimber such as myself,” he thought. The orange, round, life-giving sun was setting in the west, it was time for refreshing, invigorating, renewing rest to prepare for the exciting, incalculable, formidable, unrelenting challenge of the morrow. He entered his warm, cozy, inviting, sturdy tent to prepare for a night of blissful, refreshing, health-giving, renewing sleep.

Soon was the brave, plucky mountainclimber adrift in slumberland, his mind awash with vague, spooky, gossamer, enigmatic dreams. Thus was he blissfully unaware when the hairy, oderiferous, inauspicious, gargantuan, abominable snow monster crept up to his tent on stealthy, pointed, cloven feet and hovered for a time about the entrance of the sturdy, canvas, well-insulated tent. After a time the monstrous, powerful, menacing beast crept away as silently as he had come, knowing that he would without doubt encounter the tempting, delicious, succulent mountainclimber on the slopes the next day.

That same night, in bustling, never-sleeping, smog-laden London, the brave, handsome, bearded mountainclimber's sweet, young, beautiful, charming true love lay awake in her lacy, sumptuous, tastefully furnished boudoir, tossing and turning in her soft, pillow-laden, four-poster bed. She tossed and turned, unable to achieve sweet, blissful renewing sleep, worried as she was about the fortunes of her brave, bearded, handsome, absent lover. With sudden, gut-wrenching abruptness there came a heavy, ominous knock at the door, and the sound of clear, fragile, expensive window glass breaking.

Could it be that the earth-shaking, ground-breaking pioneering research of the old, feeble, wizened, white-haired scholar in Prague would, through an incredible, far-fetched, never-in-a-blue-moon twist of fate, save the separated, star-crossed lovers from their sad, hapless, ignominious fates?

Copyright © by John Remmers.