White Hats

Where Are the Heroes of Yesteryear?

It's not often that I disagree with Ted, but this time I just had to speak out.

"You know," he was saying to me, "we don't have real heroes anymore. What happened to them? Especially the ones in white hats, like Gene Autry. We don't have white-hatted heroes like Gene Autry anymore and our society is the worse for it."

"I'm afraid you're full of beans, Tedley old boy," I replied. "Gene Autry was a fake. I mean, think about it. Nothing gets a hat dirtier faster than that heroic action type stuff. On a white hat that really shows. But just look at those old movies. Autry's hat was always clean as a whistle. Anybody wearing such a clean white hat couldn't be much of a hero."

Well, Ted started bawling uncontrollably the way he always does when I show him what an idiot he is. Which is the real reason why I tend not to disagree with him very often, at least not overtly.

Anyway, while Ted was sitting there crying his eyes out, the point about clean versus dirty hats got me to thinking about some things. Like, how those old superhero comics always ducked the issue of costume care. I mean, how often did Superman have to wash his cape? Did he do it himself? At least Batman had his butler Alfred to take care of things like that, but who did Superman have? Lois Lane? I don't think so! Maybe he went to the laundromat.

Eventually Ted got over his crying jag and life went on, like it always does. At least until next Tuesday, when space aliens are going to invade and cart us all off to work as slaves on their mining planets. Guess I better do my laundry this weekend while I still have the chance.